March 1998

01 – Found out that KC and K might get back together which is good news. B told me about Z and he said that Z fancied me and still does but I don’t believe it. I’ll ask tomorrow. Got 77% in physics which I think is quite good. Still got KC’s watch. Mum is angry about it. I don’t think I’ll send KC the letter now.

02 – Saw KC. We won in basketball match. Received a letter and photo from S and wrote one back. Decided to send KC the letter. Dad rang and was angry that I swapped watches with somebody else (KC) and so he didn’t ask to see me at the weekend.

03 – Made fish in mournay sauce and got 8 ½ and 1 m for it. Tasted nice. I then made some pancakes (Scottish) at home and GF liked them. Mum seemed sad today. Went down town with J and got passport photo. Got to get my photographs from Boots on Saturday. I had to get my watch today.

04 – Saw KC and he wants the letter. Can’t wait to get photos. Phoned him up but he was at work. Mum and GF went up leisure centre. I didn’t want to go. I feel haunted by something all day as if something followed me. It’s a horrible scary feeling. Every noise you look at. Might see J tomorrow.

05 – Rang KC. He said he’d come tomorrow. Got my photos and they’re great. Went out with mum and GF to The George and we had a snack (scampi and chips) then went to the leisure centre. Dad phoned and he’s pleased about the watches, then I told him about KC and he thinks I’m trying to be 18, not 13. Stupid.

06 – KC didn’t come. He rang up I. Bored today. Mum and GF had a big argument. I wish he’d go. Mum’s getting stronger which I’m getting pleased about. Very tired. Taped Top 40 (most of it).

07 – GF’s left for good today (celebrations). SJ came round. Nanny and grandad came up. Mum’s a bit upset. Found out that KC came up on Sunday and went to I’s but he doesn’t want me to get angry with him. I wouldn’t anyway. J likes the photos.

08 – GF still hasn’t come back. I’m on the highest cloud of them all. KC likes photos and he received my letter and he is in middle of writing me one back. Nanny and grandad are fun. I won a game of scrabble with Nanny. Lovely day today. It was warm. Went down town and found out Chambers had an upstairs. Don’t think I can go to cinema on Saturday.

09 – Quite nice day. In maths fractions test I got 42/53. Quite good. Don’t think I did well in chemistry test. Mum went to solicitors. KC said he’d ring but he hasn’t (9.20) shame.

10 – Received letter from S and wrote one back. Got 42 / 50 (84%) in maths test (fractions). Nanny and grandad went home. Dad phoned and I’m going to see ‘Boyfriend’ at Theatre Royal on Saturday 12th. Looking forward to it.

11 – KC has sent letter. Should get it tomorrow. Went to pub with mum and SJ. Great fun. Band called ‘The Weasles’ Early 20’s girl = drums. Bloke: singing. 60’s music / pop music. Can’t wait till tomorrow. See dad.

12 – Went to Norwich to meet dad. Went to see ‘The Boyfriend’. Really great. Set in 1920’s (Charleston dances and good songs). Took me to dinner and bought me a jumper. He bought himself a jumper. Got mum some flowers and a card for Mothers day. Mum got me a water spray for my hair. Watched film. Very tired.

13 – Mum liked her flowers and mothers day card. Dead bored today. Would of loved to have seen KC today. I should receive letter from him tomorrow. Can’t wait. Helped mum today. I ate quite a lot though boredom, naughty. Diet starts tomorrow.

14 – Diet going good. Mum went to group therapy and all things came out what happened 25years ago. I don’t know what but SJ told GF and he says he understands. He will come back soon. I’ll get on with him if he helps mum by not carrying on with his verbal abuse. Rang KC up when mum went out with GF but he was on a theatre trip. I rang SJ up but she couldn’t tell me anything.

15 – I like KC still and cried on his shoulder today. Had a talk with H, Mr W and Mrs LA about mum’s op and troubles at home and they seemed understanding. GF and mum apologised for blaming H and they rang her up. She seems happier now. I’m glad. Should get KC’s letter tomorrow.

16 – Still haven’t got KC’s letter. Happy today but got home and I’m now pissed off and scared about the Devil dream I had last night. I can’t seem to forget it. I think I might start soon cause I got upset stomach and I’m depressed. Got 58% in chemistry test. Had maths test today.

17 – Quite good day. Gave up on KC’s letter. Went round J’s. Good time. Had good talk. Came home 9.30 instead of 9.00,. Mum and GF had gone out. Start to not care about how I look as long as I like it.

18 – Stayed with J all day. At night went down town and then came back to my house with J and S. Stayed round J’s tonight. Great fun. KC rang and asked if I wanted to go to the pictures with him. Then he said J & I too.

19 – Rang up KC and they were going to pictures. He was going to come round mine then we go and call for J & I. Bought trousers from Woody’s tonight and spent 2hours getting ready. 7.30. No one came. No one come that night. Phoned J at 10 and she said she phoned but didn’t get no answer. KC ring tomorrow.

20 – Dead bored today. SJ came round for dinner. Very nice. Rang KC. He said he’d ring in afternoon. Didn’t ring. J & E came round. E likes the house. They went 9.30. KC rang 10. Mum and GF are out. Diet starts tomorrow. J said if I weigh 8st by April 20th she’ll give me £5 (bet).

21 – Went to cinema with J & E. Very good. Film = Fatal Attraction. Gory at end. My hair looked nice. New girl in form. She’s alright. Her name = L. J said that she felt like she was being used because she thought I only wanted to see her so I could see more of KC. It’s not true. I don’t want to lose J. She’s a good friend.

22 – Hate Tuesdays. Pissed off today. Got shoes reheeled but mum said black boots will be waste of money but I still might get them done. Saw KC. Doesn’t seem to speak to me at school. J is still a bit off. I like her a lot still. Mum was angry today and took out on me. Stomach really hurts from yesterdays situps.

23 – Quite good day. KC didn’t speak. J’s getting a bit friendlier thank goodness. Got 7/10 in English. Options evening was very interesting. Found out lots of things and doing the subjects I’d like to do. I’m not going to NORCAT. Eaten more than I should of today. No breakfast / lunch tomorrow.

24 – KC actually said hello to me today. J is much friendlier now. I’m really glad. Bad storm today at 5.30pm. Thunder, lightning, rain and hail. Dad rang up. He’s had two lumps removed. One on his hip and one on his back.

25 – School was okay. KC spoke to me more today. Went to D’s and J’s at night. Quite good. Came home 10.30. Taped two records. Bed 12.30.

26 – Stayed at home all day but went to conservative club at lunch. In afternoon I rearranged my bedroom and posters. It looks very nice. Bed at 9.49 and changed clock an hour forward.

27 – Went to J’s for an hour. Very boring. Washed my hair at night.

28 – Boring at school today. Got another merit mark in art. Got things from catalogue. Won’t be able to order or receive for couple of weeks as yet. Mum and GF had a little argument.

29 – Didn’t go to school. Said I had bad stomach ache. Slight exaggeration. I did have a little one though and felt a little sick. Last day tomorrow.

30 – Break up from school. Really boring today. Went round J’s and D’s today. Boring as well but I didn’t want to be with mum because she kind of snapped at me when I came home from school. It put me in a bad mood.

31 – Had a nice lay in today. Mum made cakes etc. I wiped up and put away to help. J said she’d phone after lunch. She didn’t. Went down town with mum and saw J, I, KC and R and another boy. She kind of ignored me and wanted to get away quickly. About 5 I went to J’s and J was just leaving. Went to other J’s at night. I’m still upset. Got Easter cards etc.