June1988

01 – Still thinking of KC. Went to Norwich Castle today. It was alright. Went into Norwich and step bro S got some shoes. GF’s making little unwanted comments to me. Started periods.

02 – went to Splash. Went through Runton and Cromer. Looked for KC. Couldn’t see him. Went down the slide in Splash. Great fun. Started periods at night.

03 – Took kids back home. GF’s upset cause if S says “No” to S coming up here. He was crying. Went up to Denbigh. Pleased to see us. Went to GF’s mum and dads. Had few sandwiches and sausage rolls. Went to Nanny and Grandads. Got a salad, hankies and £1 for Caister. Not going to Unc D’s and J’s. Nanny had a word with GF. Little upset.

04 – KC comes off holiday today. Can’t wait to see or hear later from him. Think about him, a lot, wonder if him and K did anything. Hope not.

05 – Phoned J up. She enjoyed herself. Phoned KC up. He quite enjoyed it. Didn’t mention anything about K.

06 – went to school. Saw KC. Showed photos. J is in mood with me again. Goodness knows why. KC hardly took any notice of me today. Banged toe (little) very hard tonight. Really hurts. Not broken.

07 – Didn’t go to school. Couldn’t hardly walk. GF bandaged toe up. Phoned KC. Wasn’t in. At work. God I miss him. I want him so much.. Hope my star sign is right. Finished periods.

08 – Didn’t go to school again today. Went up Yore Clinic with Mum. Stayed in car while she went to speak with M. I drew another car. Didn’t turn out right. D came round. S’s depressed about D. I wonder if S is as much as I am about KC.

09 – Went to school. Didn’t see KC. Phoned him up tonight. Wasn’t in. Talked with his sister and asked her to ask him to phone me back and make sure he does. He didn’t. Typical. God what am I going to do. I’m definitely in love. Might go up in English next year. Oh KC!!! KC did phone up for half hour. We talked about his fitness, about how he might be moving to Scarning in Summer holidays, further away from K.

10 – Good at school. At night went to leisure centre. Young group (14-16 years old) called City Heat. Were very good for their age. Girl singer, all rest boys. I liked W, very nice. Still like KC a lot though. Saw him at school, he didn’t speak to me. Mind you I was with J and K.

11 – Went up leisure centre and saw C. Bit boring. Went to second hand Rose with Mum, SJ and GF. I didn’t get anything. Mum & GF didn’t want to go to meal and dance at Milwrights so we went to Barnham Broom. Saw KC. He told us something stupid. He’s had a haircut, looks quite nice. I love him.

12 – Phoned KC up and asked him if he wanted to come round to get something. He said he would in afternoon. Went down leisure centre and met up with J etc. They came back with us and S and J etc. KC still didn’t come. Did their hair and makeup.

KC came round at 7.10pm with J. J was upset because she couldn’t come in lounge with us. I said to her I might go up leisure centre later. She said thanks. So she was annoyed about that as well. They were good fun (K and J) Talked a lot about lots of things. Kissed KC on lips. Not Frenchie or long but it wasn’t a peck or short either. I was on cloud 9. I really enjoyed it. I’m sure he likes me. I don’t know, definitely like him though. J has a cycling shirt on which had KAS on it. I thought of something it could stand for.

K A Sam. I didn’t say anything. He put his arms round me a few times. I feel terrible about J though. Great night. He wants photo of me and said he’d promise to speak to me tomorrow.

13 – J’s ignoring me so I don’t care anymore. Didn’t see KC. I’m really upset. I was going to ask him out over phone but decided that if anything happened I would get heartbroken like K. Can’t stop thinking of last night. Went to J’s at night. She chucked B.

14 – Got all exam results. KC didn’t go to school. Went to bed same time as last night (8.30pm) I’m shattered. Exam results on back page.

English Lit = 62%                                                            Chemistry = 51% Ave = 63%

English Language = 76%                                               Art 53% Ave = 53%

Maths = 60% Ave= 48%                                                CDT = 58%

History = 70%                                                                 Spanish = 48.5%

Geography =                                                                   French = 66% Ave = 63%

Physics = 48.5%                                                              Biology = 52%

Home Ec = 62%

15 – Mum was a bit snotty this morning cause she had hump with GF. Absolutely shattered. Bed about 8.40pm. Feel sick. I wish I could see KC. He wasn’t at school today. Got leaving card for H and a Father’s Day card.

16 – Nothing much happened. Gave H card. She got another one the same. Haven’t seen KC. Haven’t seen him all week. Meeting for France. I can’t wait.

17 – Alright at school. H’s gone. Went up leisure centre. Spent all £3 on machine and lost. Peeved off. Saw W for about 5 secs.

18 – Went to Swaffham with Mum. Got some shorts, tops. Really nice. Went up leisure centre in afternoon. Saw W again.

19 – Went up leisure centre. Saw W. Had good time. E, J&J played Trivial Pursuit. Went back at leisure centre. Good fun. Saw W at end and E embarrassed me. Phoned Dad in morning to wish HFD.

20 – Good today we won at Rounders. Went up leisure centre to see GF. He wasn’t there. W was though. Didn’t speak to him. He was with friends. Haven’t seen KC. Haven’t phoned.

21 – Good at school. Won in Rounders. M&GF had argument.

22 – Quite good. Sat with J and I watching Rounders and talked. KC wasn’t there. He’s finished school completely now. Won’t see him at school. Mum and GF had argument.

23 – Mum wanted me to stay off school. She fell down stairs and spilt tea all down her. I had to laugh. She looked a site. Later on went to Sherringham and Cromer. Mum and GF had a argument. Sorted it out about 3-4am. Had very bad stomach upset.

24 – Didn’t go to school. Went to town. Had sickly feeling. Went to Barnham Broom. GF played golf. Saw KC. He spoke. Went to watch Squash.. Had few laughs. KC came up. We went into Solarium room. I sat on his lap. We talked, kissed, cuddled. It was fun. He kept wanting me to go on sunbed with him but I just got off subject. I don’t like talking about things like that. I get embarrassed. It was good fun. GF took Mum and me for meal at Honington Buck. It was very nice. I’m very tired but still like KC now I’ve seen him again. I enjoyed it with him but got embarrassed at times. I wouldn’t jump into bed with him and if it gets that for him I’ll tell him and if he doesn’t like it then he’s no good for nothing.

25 – Quite good today. Went to few pubs at lunch at night. Went to leisure centre/Barbeque. Great fun. W was there. Started periods.

26 – Not a lovely and sunny day but still had Bar-b-que as planned. Steak was really nice. It was good fun. Didn’t feel at all well. Sleep for a long time.

27 – Didn’t go to school due to period pains. Had bad stomach ache. Mum and GF went to Con club at night. I stayed in and watched film. It was about a family with 4 kids from 7-18. Mother died of cancer and father died earlier. Boy wanted to raise his brother and sisters on his own and he won in court. I cried a lot.

Good film. Cried because I was thinking what if would have been like if Mum died during her cancer. I’m just so lucky that she didn’t and I love her a lot. I’m glad she loves and cares for me as much as I do for her. I still miss Dad but that stands for reason.

28 – Went to school today. At 10am felt ill so went to sick room with D. Stayed there until 3.35pm with D. They rang Mum once and she wasn’t in. Talked about KC and D a lot of the time. Good fun. I had burning feeling all inside me. I felt like I was going to be sick. Got more books from library (4). Read 1 of them. Quite good. I love KC. I miss him. I still remember Friday night.

I’m afraid I might let myself go when I’m with him once. I partly want to but partly don’t for obvious reasons. I hate feeling like this. Every time I look at his photo I wonder what he’s doing and remember what it’s like when our lips touch and wander what he feels whether he means it or not. I don’t know I’m sure he loves me. He wouldn’t ring me, talk to me, kiss me, but sometimes when he lies I think he doesn’t love me. God I wish he could read this so he knew exactly what I feel. I might let him ’ONE DAY’!

29 – Went to school. Quite good. Didn’t see KC.

30 – Had day off due to Royal Norfolk Show. Dad phoned. I’m going to meet him on Saturday in Norwich. That’ll be good. Bought some clothes for France.

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