November 1991

01 (Friday) – Went to Birmingham. Good journey. Went to club at night. It was a goth club. It was OK. Tired.

03 – Stayed in. Didn’t go out much cos RS got tired real quick so stayed in most of week but had brill time.

04 – 06 – Went up town. Don’t like Birmingham much as a city. Bought Black Crowes album, t-shirt, Motley Crue album + few other things. Good time. Learnt how to juggle with 3 balls.

07 – Went to Liverpool + met my penpal SL. Real good fun! I Love Liverpool. At nite went to a club that had a rock nite. Got pissed. Kissed this bloke. There was nothing in it but I had a great nite. RS stayed at S’s  she felt ill. Got on real well with S. Going to see her again.

08 – N’S BIRTHDAY – Went into Liverpool I bought some velvet trousers at last. Got velvet shirt. Went back to Birmingham. Stayed in.

09 – Came back to Kings Lynn. Went out at nite. Got pissed. Got off with S. I really like him. I hope he likes me. I’ll ask A at college and hopefully he knows how S feels.

10 – Felt bit ill this morning. Great last nite. Cleaned room. Lazed about during day.

11 – I’ve decided I’m leaving college either in a couple of weeks or at Christmas. I’ll go to Norwich with RS and just try and get to Norwich. SJ doesn’t agree and Dad does but only because he thinks I’ll get my life sorted but he’s not fully encouraging at all. Phoned S and he said there’s complications he’ll explain on Saturday but he’d like something to come of it.

12 – Probably leave sooner. Went to find out about benefits, careers etc loads of help from careers office and I’m not entitled to many benefits cos I’m under 18. Shit. Oh well. It will work out. Going to see M tomorrow at 3.30pm. I need it just for reassurance. I’ll miss meditation but I’d like to come back every Thursday night.

13 – M 3.30PM – Went to see M. Had long chat. Doing the right thing. Nothing much happened else really. Went to Norwich. Went to pub with RS + K. Good day.

14 – Went to meditation. Quite good. Emotional. I got the same feelings as I did when I first used to go – rebellious etc. It was horrible. The guides were showing me that although I’m leaving in body I am not in spirit and they’ll still walk with me and I won’t return to how I used to be and look how far I’ve come. Might have a YTS placement + arts centre doing technician.

15 – Went to Naval RS + D from ‘Rogue’ were there and it was good nite. They did covers of ‘Poison, G n’ R, Led Zeppelin, Bon Jovi etc. Really good nite. P’s moving me next Sunday.

16 – Went to naval then Wenns. S didn’t come. Typical. M hasn’t contacted me so it’s over I presume. Oh well. Real pissy nite. Came home early. PG came round after pub, pissed. They’re lovely but the girls don’t think so. They’ve put blue food colouring in all the food. They did Ouija board but I didn’t watch although I was tempted.

17 – Haven’t done much all day and knaff sorted out.

18 – Moved in here exactly a year ago today. Nan + Grandad phoned and they’re not really happy with the way I dress etc. They started saying how N has got a manageress job etc + how smart she is. I’m really happy for her but we’re both different characters. I feel really like a rock n roll child as they keep saying how bad my attitude etc is. M phoned really happy. He’s happy that I’m moving to Norwich as he said he can see me a lot more. I’m really happy when speaking to him. I think I do like him a lot. Spent all nite talking to the girls about problems we all have. Good talk etc.

19 – Went to Norwich. Can’t claim social so I’ll have to get a job basically. Can’t claim Housing Benefit if I move in with R. Bit of a catch 22. Went to Waterfront. Really helpful. Spoke to J and I may get work experience doing lighting and also he’s given a bloke behind the bar my + RS name for a fanzine type thing which sounds interesting.

20 – Didn’t do hardly anything today. Considering living in Dads house in Attleborough rent free until I get some money etc. RS may move in as well.

21 – Haven’t done much. Went to meditation. Talked a bit about the occult and M actually told us that J was into the occult which pleased me that I know for definite but scared me looking back on things we said and I easily could of gotten into it if he’d suggested something although I had become aware of bad feelings with him then came through with message. Phoned M. Moving into Dads house.

22 – SKID ROW LA GUNS + LOVE/HATE DOCKLANDS ARENA LONDON – QUIT COLLEGE – Went to gig on coach + met few blokes from Tech. Good laugh. The venue was OK. Met G + Gup there. LA Guns were  brill. Love/Hate were OK and Skid Row was amazing. Some fans got up on stage and ran, he didn’t mind. He got out his dick and wiped his arse on The Daily Star due to some interview. Fuckin brill! Got off with G. Went back to Peterborough with him + his brother. Stayed round his. Close to having sex  (with clothes on) Felt really comfy with him.

23 – Came back to Lynn + G + his brother. J came back. Was with G all nite. Went up pub. Saw everyone. Good night. Stayed round mine. Really good time. Thinks its serious + I’m definitely finishing with M.

24 – MOVE TO NORWICH ATTLEBOROUGH – RS came with me when I moved to Attleborough. P, S bought all my stuff. Great help. G went home at 10.30pm. Put posters up in lounge + arranged place. RS stayed and rethinking about moving.

25 – Finished putting up posters in lounge. Few to put up in bedroom and few doors. Phoned G at night. 1/2hr on phone. Had good talk. I should be going into Tech to see him. All I’m worried about is if he thinks that I’m like this with everyone because I haven’t been. I feel so comfortable with him. Had a few strums on Dads guitars. Brill H is all for the idea that I work at Arts Centre but there’s no course I can do for it so I’m going to have to look for a job.

26 – Didn’t do much except get really bored. Phoned A at night and G has written a letter for me which read basically that we can’t go on seeing each other cos of several reasons, but he doesn’t regret in any way what happened. I’m angry at something.

27 – Went to Norwich and met RS, looked for jobs etc. Asked in shops. Not much luck. Come home at night. Quite boring again. RS said she might move in, which sounds good. Well hope so. Phoned G and asked him about it and he said basically whet the letter said but we’re still friends.

28 – Went to Tech. Had to get up at 5.45am. Death. Spoke to G who I must say looked god today – and I don’t really understand except for the fact that he can’t see me as a girlfriend, just a friend. OK I can and will have to live with that. Manic party. S’s 21^st. Got pissed out of my head. Gt time. Loved it.

29 – Went into tech. Got on better with G. He’s a bit more relaxed. Went to the Kings Lynn rock night and watched ‘Court Stealin’ then went onto Rock City. Quite tired so I was a bit bored at beginning but through the night it was brill. Arrived at 11.45pm and arrived back here at 8.45am, manic night. Gt. Really glad I went.

30 – Didn’t do much except sleep quite a bit. Went to pub at nite then onto party at Docking. I was really knackered so I fell asleep. Quite good fun. Got home at about 6.15am.